40 Letters of Love: Dear Working Mom

Dear working mom, This is me. Sitting in my car crying. Outside of a medical professional’s office. Because I showed up 30 minutes late (although it was the time I thought I was supposed to be there) for an appointment for one of my children and they wouldn’t see me. An appointment that took months to get. An appointment that was only the first appointment of what is needed for this particular child. For this particular evaluation. And I sit here crying knowing that this appointment is now rescheduled yet another month down the road and the time just keeps ticking.

I sit here beating myself up- “never enough” I hear. “You had to end the meeting early AND the appointment was wrong all along”. In one moment I feel the rush of all the mistakes made in the last 11 years fighting to get into my head. Into my heart. But then I think of you, working mom, and I think, “Hell No”. This is not the story of us and all I can think of next is writing to you.

Dear working mom, I see you. I see the heavy load you carry at work and the load you have at home. I see how hard you are working to do All. The. Things. I see the way you want to be the best wife, the best mother and the best therapist- teacher- doctor- engineer- project manager- scientist-employee- boss- whatever you are. Not even the best…simply good. A good wife. A good mother. A good whatever.  I see the guilt you feel when you miss another important meeting at work because you have a sick child and the guilt you feel when you miss another field trip because you have an important meeting. You know you should read aloud tonight, but you are just so tired. You know that the report has to get done, but you are just so tired. I see you writing the note for the lunch box sending the good luck wishes you missed giving in person when you weren’t there to take your daughter to her first day of kindergarten. I see you at home answering emails and texts in between checking on your sick son.

Dear working mom, I see the judgement you have felt from others, but I also know you remain your harshest critic. I want to say this to you as I loudly say it to myself, “You are enough”. Not perfect. But enough. And enough is enough. It’s enough for your job. It’s enough for your children. It's enough for your community. I pray you can feel it’s enough for you.

Love,

Me

P.S. Dear single mom….I just don’t even know where to begin. You Are A Rock Star.

P.S.S. Dear working at home mom- I know you have all the things too. Same things. Different things. My hope is for you too to know that you are enough. Enough for the world. Enough for your children.  

P.S.S.S. Dear spouses supporting all forms of mom’s, thank you. And specifically to mine, the one who sends a text in the midst of my car crying that both sends love and makes me laugh, thank you. Oh how this whole ship would sink without you- glad to be living “perfectly imperfect” with you.