A White Mom's Confession to Her Black Daughter

I have never told you that you are black. I have told you, you have brown skin and that you are beautiful. I told myself it was because I didn’t want to make race an issue in our family. That was stupid. It is. You are black. I am white.

You doing what you love best. Playing in the water.

 I have no idea what it is like to be black in this country. In the south.  I have told myself that is ok, because we live in such an educated area. People are wiser here than the rural south. That was stupid. I must find black women that can come along side you and teach you about being black.

I once stole a pair of shorts from a department store in high school. Not because I needed them. Not because my parents didn’t provide everything I needed and more. Just because. I don’t’ even know why. I only wore those shorts once. I didn’t wear them because  I was afraid. Afraid to get in trouble. But I was never afraid of being shot for stealing. Because I am white.

You are so beautiful and I love your brown skin, your curly hair and your bright brown eyes. But when I am walking alone and an unknown man with the same brown skin is walking towards me, my heart quickens a bit. And I hate that about myself.

A prize from the soda dive at the pool July 4th.

I am thankful you are a girl. I think it is harder for the boys. But I still worry. Will you have a parent that won’t allow you to date their son only because the color of your skin? Will you be turned down for that job you really want? Will all of our family and friends honor your role as our beloved daughter?

I do not claim to know what happened last weekend with Michael Brown in Ferguson, Missouri.  But I know that race issues in this country are still very hard. I know that we are not treating each other with love. 

I sit staring at this blinking cursor because I am not sure what else to write. What are my next steps? I’m not sure here. I think the first step for me is to start being real with all of this. Acknowledge my own role in fighting these racial divides. Stand up to say, “Daughter, I love you. I will not accept that you and all the other black people in this country should live in fear. “   AND  “White people- we have to do better. Love better. Stand together better.”