With a Clinched Fist

The other day someone referred to Jimmy and I as being generous. I don't know if it was that statement, but something has been nagging at me about generosity. I wasn't quite sure what it was. But today I had some discernment and I felt the need for a bit of a confessional here.

 I have found myself rotating from feeling one of three things relating to generosity:

1. A desire to give more
2. An overwhelming appreciation witnessing the generosity of others, including my daughter
3. And here it is, the nasty part....judging others for not being what I considered to be generous enough

There it is in all it's ugliness. Man how I hate that part of me that judges. While I was awake last night from 4 to 5:30 (be jealous those of you that don't have young children waking you up!), what really weighed on me is the person that I should be judging is myself. Because, so much of my generosity comes with a clinched fist.

Here are a few examples of what I mean:
1.) Some kids are selling hot chocolate on the side of the road yesterday for $1 for charity. Jimmy gives them $5 for 2 cups and tells them to keep the change, and my fists clinch.
2.) Sarah Bess suggests for our advent acts of kindness we should fill up some one's car with gas, and my fists clinch.
3.) My kids ask me to play a game while I am checking off my list of to dos, and my fists clinch.

And that my friends is what is called greed. When we hold tightly onto our money and our time and our love, we are being greedy. And while I have somehow managed to see greed in others these past few weeks, I was ignoring where it was screaming at me in my own life.

But then there are the times that I give with my hands wide open like to sponsor a child in Ethiopia, or Haiti or even here in NC. And I feel the blessings of sharing God's money immediately. I want to give like that all the time. I want to live with palms open and give generously of my time, of my money and of my love. This advent as we live in anticipation of the coming of Christ, I pray that I am on my knees with hands open.

 

Take My Life

Take my life and let it be
Consecrated, Lord, to Thee.
Take my moments and my days,
Let them flow in ceaseless praise.
Take my hands and let them move
At the impulse of Thy love.
Take my feet and let them be
Swift and beautiful for Thee.

Take my voice and let me sing
Always, only for my King.
Take my lips and let them be
Filled with messages from Thee.
Take my silver and my gold
Not a mite would I withhold.
Take my intellect and use
Every power as You choose.

Here am I, all of me.
Take my life, it's all for Thee.

 

Being Generous: Friendsgiving, Goats and Kayite

Be Generous.

On Saturday night some friends of ours invited us to celebrate the first annual Friendsgiving. It was a wonderful evening over great food, company and late night dancing (well- late night when you are out with little ones- meaning around 9pm!).

One of our friends asked us each to offer a word of grace for the upcoming year. Our dear friends began to share beautiful words of love, kindness and hope. What kept coming to my heart was "Be Generous". It was a prayer for grace for times when I am not, and a prayer of hope for all of us at the table for the upcoming year.

Today I have a Thanksgiving story of generosity. What all began as a sweet girls generous gift of $12, turned into the $12 Project and a total of $416 dollars raised. This will purchase 9 goats for families in Ethiopia! (And if anyone wants to just round it off...a gift of $34 more would get us to 10!). Thank you so much to all who gave. I haven't yet announced to Sarah Bess the total and I can't wait to see her face when I tell her how many goats were bought!

Several people have commented to me lately that they don't want to just give money. They would rather serve by doing. And while I agree that serving with our hands and feet is very important, it should not be done in lieu of giving the money we have been blessed with. Some of these same people have said it doesn't make people feel good just to 'write a check'. My advice...just try it. It makes you feel amazingly blessed. So I am very thankful for those in my life that choose to do exactly that.

And with that, I have another amazing opportunity for you to be generous this holiday season. Her name is Kayite. She is six years old and in the first grade- just like Sarah Bess and Davis.

But unlike Sarah Bess and Davis, she was born into extreme poverty. She was also born with HIV. Her circumstances and her health are due to no fault of her own. But YOU can bless this sweet girl. Through Project Hopeful Awassa for only $30 month, you can sponsor her to provide needed clothing, food and medical treatment so that she can attend school. Read here if you want to know Why Project Hopeful Awassa?

Be Generous.

The $12 Project

$12 can buy you lots of things:

2 value meals at Mickey D's
Ballet flats at Rack Room
3 bottles of 2 Buck Chuck at Trader Joe's
Starbucks- all depending on your preference and size. For me-two of the grande caramel macchiato

Yesterday, Sarah Bess came to me with $12. Hers was not a request to buy something for herself.  "I would like to give this money to Gabre's orphanage."

Unprompted. Unsolicited. Generosity.

 

Our kids have 3 piggy banks they put money in: one to spend, one to save and one to give. This money came from her spend piggy bank. The one she uses to buy treats at the pool, a gift for her sister, or wastes at the yard sale across the street. $12 is approximately 1/3 of her total spending account...and I almost tried to talk her out of it.

Don't worry- I'm not going to say something crazy like maybe this year to show thanks for all our blessings we should give away 1/3 of our 'spend' budget. But what if we gave $12.

 What if we matched what a 6 year old girl so freely gave.

Gabre was born close to a region in Ethiopia called Awassa. Many of you may have heard me talk about Project HOPEFUL Awassa. Sarah Bess has decided to spend her $12 on sheep to go to the community families enrolled in Project HOPEFUL Awassa.

 (well, sheep that look like goats...you be the judge)

 

 

Why Sheep? This was shared after the first sheep were given in October by Greg Knight:

 

An advocate from women and orphans in the area spoke and expressed thanks for the gifts that would change the way that these families lived. To me it was just a sheep. To them it was a source of fresh milk and future lambs as they will have them bred. It made me wish we had been able to provide more.



 

So Sarah Bess would like to provide more. One Sheep/Goat is $45. Jimmy and I have both matched SB's $12 so we are almost up to one sheep. Will you match? How many sheep can we give? Can we one by one give $12 that will give a family something they need so that their children do not have to become orphans. Orphans in a region where they currently become 'stuck'. No longer with their biological families, but not currently eligible for adoption? Children and families like these:

 

 

Here is pay pal link to make your tax-deductible donation to Project HOPEFUL Awassa for sheep.



 https://www.paypal.com/cgi-bin/webscr?cmd=_s-xclick&hosted_button_id=KGJHBLTX6WLFC 

 

If you give and don't mind, please leave a comment or message us. We'd love to share with Sarah Bess how much her generosity blessed others.

 

To read more about Project Hopeful Awassa and becoming a FIG- Family in the Gap, click here.



Top 3 Reasons NOT to Support Orphans

So I'm guessing that some people did a double take with that title. Another post from Hannah about orphans...wait, did she say NOT to support orphans (even though God says to do just that)?

Today is National Orphan Sunday. I thought about writing a post about God's commands for us to take care of the orphan and what you can do, but I knew that the excuses that I always hear would be what many would be thinking. I would guess that most of us that have adopted have heard something like "I think it is so great that you are helping orphans, I would love to do something like that BUT....


1. "We just don't have the money." Let's be honest with each other here. I bet that everyone that has ever said that to me has two cars, an iphone/ ipad (droid) or multiple in their house, eats out several times a month, has bought new clothes in the last six months, etc. Now I also fit in the above categories, and I'm not saying we shouldn't enjoy those things, but we should not indulge in luxury if it becomes an excuse not to give.

Good news though even if your monthly spending leaves nothing left over for others: You can now give to charity simply by buying. Thanks to Jen Hatmaker and Sarah Bessey, I now am aware of  Pure Charity. You can read more about this at Jen and Sarah's posts, but basically you can connect your everyday spending to a charity.

2. "Something might be wrong with them." So I don't want to get into the fundamental problem with this statement and how we judge who is worthy of our love or worthy to belong to a family. But I will say, that this is true. Most likely an orphans complete medical and family histories will not be known to you in adoption. But neither is it when we birth children from our tummies. And I missed the part in the gospel where we only love the perfect people. Both Davis and Gabre were adopted off of waiting child lists, and in both cases we did not know all the information about their medical histories that we know now, but OH how we would have missed out if that had stopped us. Just look at these faces...

3. "I think children need to stay in their own countries supported by people with their culture." If this is your belief, the good news is this does not have to stop you from living out the gospel! There are so many organizations that you can support that are working to do just this. Three of my favorite are ZOE,  Bring Love In and Project Hopeful Awassa. These are a GREAT way to support orphans without adopting.

And one last statement that I so kindly ask you to consider before saying "Why didn't you adopt domestically? We need to take care of the children in the US first.". Please do not say this to anyone if YOU have not adopted or fostered in the US. But if this is your viewpoint, there are MANY ways (including thousands of children available for adoption and fostering) right here that you can support. Two I recommend are Methodist Home for Children and The Forgotten Initiative.

These are only a few of the fantastic organizations you can get involved with. I hope that today, on Orphan Sunday, you will consider what you can do in 2013 to make a difference in the life of an orphan. It will bless you more than you can imagine.

@519 Church

Let your roots grow down into him and let your lives be built on him.

Colossians 2:7

519 (read 5 one 9) launched our first service this past Sunday. A year's worth of planning, dreaming and visioning finally began.

The thing that excites me most about 519 is that I believe it can be not just another church, but a church where our lives are built on Him.

Not just another church to go on Sunday with great music and a great message (though we are blessed that it will also be that), but a church where we learn to ask ourselves: 

What if we spent less, to give more?

What does love your neighbor really look like?

What if we spent time in relationship with the divine daily?

What if we valued that relationship above all else?

What if we saw the Holy in each encounter and in each person?

What if we loved well and lived differently?



Great Expectations

Expectation is the root of all heartache.

William Shakespeare

There has been a post floating around Facebook about 5 things to do To Be Happy that I have posted in my office:

1.       Free your heart from hatred.

2.       Free your mind from worry.

3.       Live Simply.

4.       Give more.

5.       Expect Less

Expect Less.

Ever have an event that didn’t turn out the way you had expected? Maybe you were looking forward to a good night sleep and one of your children had other plans. Maybe you planned a party and no one could come. Maybe you had blocked some time to finally complete that project at work, but 10 other things came up.  

Ever have someone or a group of people not behave the way you had expected?  Maybe you expected your children to behave in the grocery store. Maybe you expected people that claim something with their words to exhibit that in how they live. Maybe you were not expecting the criticism that came from the one you love. Maybe even you expected you to do better and yet you fell short. 

Ever have the church not feel like the church. Maybe people cared more about what kind of coffee was served than if the spirit was present. Maybe people cared more about how many people were in attendance on Sunday morning than how many people served others the rest of the week. Maybe you too fell into the trap of consumer church.

That’s where I’ve been living the past few days. And in living here, I have felt disappointed. I have felt sad. I have felt angry. And so I have wrestled with (am still wrestling with) the things/people causing these feelings…except I am realizing is not the people or the events themselves.  It is the expectations around them. And I keep coming back to this…My ego is damaged when my expectations aren’t met.

This doesn’t mean that I don’t think that we should desire good behavior from our children, kindness from those that love us, for the church to take what Jesus said seriously, and to strive for personal improvement. But I believe it does mean that it can’t be about us and our individual expectations. It has to be greater than that. Instead of expectations that lead to disappointment, sadness and anger, I want to choose Hope. Hope for myself. Hope for others. Hope in the spirit that leads to love, to joy, to peace, and to kindness.

So for me, right now, Loving Well and Living Differently means choosing hope over expectation.

Yes, my soul, find rest in God; my hope comes from him.

Psalm 62:5

BeCome the Light

Everything exposed to the light itself becomes light.

Ephesians 5:13

Jimmy and I have started a new group at our church called Fruit of the Spirit. This class involves listening to scripture and asking the Spirit to speak to you. It is not a Bible study in the traditional sense, but a way to engage with the divine. It requires you to listen in prayer rather than talking in prayer. I have written before that I do believe prayer is less about asking and more about listening, but that is easier said than done. And get ready for it…we listen for 10 to 15 minutes!!! If you are thinking this is not a long time, you are either already great at meditation or have never tried this. If you are the latter…go ahead and pause reading, set a timer for 10 minutes, and try it. Hard, right?

The first week I wasn’t feeling so well and felt pressure to ‘hear from God’. The scripture was John 3:16-21,

For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him…But whoever lives by the truth comes into the light, so that it may be seen plainly that what they have done has been done in the sight of God.

All that I kept hearing was, “Come into the light”. Again and Again. For 10 minutes. “OK God, Come into the light. Got it. Could I get something more?” With only those 4 words, I didn’t have much to write in my journal or share with the group. It wasn’t until later, when reading the scripture again, I saw that while I heard “Come into the light” the scripture actually says “Comes into the light”. Just one little sound missing, but I wondered if it were significant.

I have been trying lately to really focus on the present moment, to think of each person in my day as a child of God, and express God’s love for them. This is not always easy. In fact, it is usually hard. Other people can be hurtful. Other people can demand our attention at a time we feel we have little to give. And let’s face it, some people’s personalities just don’t jive with our own.

Jimmy and I recently went on a cruise. At first I had a hard time adjusting to such abundance (A problem I have never had on a cruise before. If only I had continued to live in ignorance of the way most people in the world live. Jimmy and I joked about our “First world problems”. “My ice is melting out by the pool before I can finish my drink.” “Yeah, well I can’t decide if I want to get another mushroom pizza or go to the Mongolian Grill”.) However, I knew that this was much needed time for Jimmy and me to relax and spend some time with each other. So on the second day during my quiet time, I made the commitment to try to smile and show love to each person I came into contact with the rest of the trip. This included a whole lot of people that I didn’t know. Instead of judging these strangers, I tried to love them. I was not always successful, but in trying to show love to others I felt God’s love and presence with me. By trying to be God’s light, I felt God’s light.

I alone can’t be the light. It is just not possible. I am human. I make mistakes. I get angry. I get frustrated. I judge others. But thankfully, it is not my light. The light is Always there. He will be the light through me, if I come to Him.

Even in darkness, light dawns. Psalm 112:4

One of my favorite groups right now is Addison Road. I love their version of This Little Light of Mine.

“There’s a little flame inside us all. Some shine bright, some shine small. The rains will come and the waters rise, but don’t you ever lose your light. In this life you will know, love and pain, joy and sorrow. So when it hurts, when times get hard, don’t forget whose child you are.”

When we feel we have lost the light, it is still there because we are children of God. How awesome is that! What if we all shined His light? What if we all tried to love more and judge less? What would our lives look like? Gosh, what would our Facebook news feeds look like?

 

We are one year home. One year ago we brought home our dear Gabre. I have written and edited this post in my head 100 times. How do I put into words what this year has meant? How our lives are changed? In preparing what to write, I looked back at the pictures from that first week together.

Saying Goodbye at the Care Center to our favorite Nanny

Our first day together at the hotel. Oh. Joy.



First Bath. First sign of how much this girl was going to LOVE the water.
 

Getting to know Daddy at our favorite spot at the Addis View



Saying our last goodbyes.



"Time to go?"

There has been no greater gift in my life than the gift of adoption. Not because our children born from our hearts are greater blessings than our child born from my tummy. But because I have truly experienced God's grace and love in a way that has changed me.

Some friends were recently discussing, "If you had a sentence to define you right now, what would it be." The topic: don't be a blurry paragraph, but make your life a sentence. Maybe for the present moment, maybe for all of time. I was feeling like a blurry paragraph and stated, I wanted my sentence to be, "My family lives simply, so we can give generously". Another friend offered, I already thought of a sentence for you, "Hannah, advocate for the orphan". I decided that I hope she is right.

Because here is the thing, orphans break my heart. In such a real way, I can't describe. Well intentioned people have commented to us, "She was So meant for your family". Tonight, one year after she is home, I have to respectfully say,  I do not agree.

 

No child should be an orphan.

 

But....Parents are dying of AIDS. Parents are living in poverty with no means to support their children. Parents are too young. Parents are living in a culture that rejects any type of disabilty or difference.  Parents are struggling with their own addictions.  But I believe none of those reasons mean that a child was meant to be with their adoptive family. I do not believe that is "God's plan".  

 

Children are not meant to lose their mothers, their fathers. They are not meant to live in orphanages with little care and little love...in the best circumstances, and abuse in the worst. They are not meant to go from one foster home to another without the sense of security or love. No, I cannot believe in a God that ever has that as a plan. But I do believe,  

 

He makes beautiful things out of the dust.

This video was taken the first week Gabre was home. I do not know by who. Until tonight, I had never seen it before. The evidence would suggest I probably took it, saved it, and do not remember because it was our first week home. I did find it on my computer, and it is very blurry- both of these things pointing to me as the videographer.

But it amazed me. Two new sisters getting to know each other. SB showing BIG sister love  (well...in the first part. In the second half, she is just doing what she does)...and all the while Beautiful Things playing in the background.

 

I do believe in a God that redeems. I have seen it. I have felt it. And I know that God has blessed me by allowing me to be a part of it.

Let Go

We have just spent the last 4 days at Wrightsville Beach.

 I so love the beach. There is something about time alone near the beach that always gives me some perspective. It was this same trip last year that I was first moved toward a "A Bed and Breakfast for Orphans". But somehow this year, it was clouds that got me thinking. Clouds and a girl named Sarah Bess that is wise beyond her years.


On Saturday afternoon, I was enjoying some quiet time reading on the porch during Gabre's nap. The book is one of those that at times it requires you to stop and absorb.  At some point I looked up at the sky and saw one small cloud moving quickly across the sky. There were lots of other clouds, and yet none of them moving. I briefly paused to ask, why is that one small cloud moving and the rest are stationary?

As I continued to read, I thought of the small cloud and wanted to check on its movement. I looked up again and now there were LOTS of clouds moving. Some were small but some were very big. And yet, others were still not moving at all. I felt as if noticing this was important, but why?

Luckily the spirit came to talk to me through my sweet daughter. As I was pondering the meaning of cloud movement, SB came outside to see what I was doing. I put my book down and invited her to rock with me. I told her I was thinking about why some of the clouds were moving, while others sat so still.

 Well, it's because some of the clouds are full of rain. The rain makes them too heavy and they can't move. Even when the wind is blowing and trying to move them. They still can't move because of all the rain. But other clouds, without the rain, they can move. Even with very little wind.

 Isn't that just like us? When we are so full of 'rain' we can't seem to move. We can't change. We can't see the world from the view of another cloud. And maybe most importantly, we can't follow. Follow the person that said to Love All. To Die to Self. That Love Always Wins.

So the question I have been asking myself is this, "What is the rain in my life that keeps me from moving? From following?" I think sometimes it is labels I place value on: Mom, Wife, Daughter, Speech-Pathologist, Friend, Boss,...  Other rain may be areas in my life where I am hurting. Where I am angry. Where I am proud. And perhaps my heaviest rain is fear. But that wise Sarah Bess didn't end there.

And the only way for the cloud to move, is to let go of the rain.

We just have to LET GO and feel the wind. 

A Day Apart

Let your roots grow down into him, and let your lives be built on him.

Colossians 2:7

This past Saturday, over 30 beautiful women gathered to experience an afternoon apart. An afternoon to worship, pray, journal, and create. An afternoon for rest & renewal. The concept was similar to my Date with God this past March at the Created for Care retreat.

The way that this day came together was a blessing from the start. It was such a wonderful experience to plan the day with four others that blessed it in every detail.  As more and more women registered and we prayed for their day, I felt a nervous excitement of what this experience could be for all those participating. We have already heard remarkable stories of how God blessed women this day. Women that heard from God through scripture, prayer, creating & silence.

Right before we were to begin, I started to feel those nervous butterflies. Was it because I hoped for those present to have a meaningful experience?  Or something else?

Once we began, I realized the butterflies were not just for the others attending. It was also for myself. I hoped to experience God the way I had in March. But there was too much noise in my head. How was it going for the others? What should I focus my prayer on? Why can't I quiet my mind? Mind, be quiet. you are here to experience a beautiful moment. BE QUIET.  I went through the first station, praying for my family, the community, the country and the world with little quiet, honestly with little prayer.

Next to the cross where others had laid down their prayers. As I began to pray for others, I thought,  OK, maybe this day is not about me, but how can I pray for others.

Next, to a color prayer. I have little artistic talent and in fact stayed away from the creating stations at the Date with God as much as possible. But because I couldn't quiet my mind, I thought I should try to create. The description was to write a word to describe God, doodle around it and then write other words that may come to mind. As I began to doodle, the names to write flowed out...Jimmy, Sarah Bess, Davis, Gabre and Hannah. Then to connect them all with each other and God. With multiple colors and doodles. At first I also wrote the word 'anything'.  (I have just begun a book by Jennie Allen, Anything, that begins with she and her husband making that prayer. "God, we will do anything."). But so much louder...I heard, EVERYTHING. So I wrote that. And I left feeling such love for those names written on my paper.

Next to the station to create a cover for our journals. The description is to pick patterns, words, scriptures that are speaking to you and decorate a cover for your journal. I just began to grab things I liked- a flower pattern, a beach scene, 5 or 6 scriptures that are familiar to me. A couple that were new, but I liked.

I sat down to create and as I looked through what I had brought to the table and asked the spirit to lead me to create, what to use was made so clear. A flower with 5 petals...I prayed over each of the 5 names I had written earlier; The word 'everything' on the back of a picture...I prayed, yes God everything. I don't know what that means, but yes;  A tree in the middle of my beach scene with the roots growing down in the water...I prayed, support our family as you do this tree, grow us and nurture us; and an unfamiliar scripture, "Let your roots grow down into him, and let your lives be built on him". And there it was. So clear. "God, let our family grow our roots in you. Let us offer you EVERYTHING as we build our lives on you".

I arrived home to my family, not yet ready to talk much about the experience but to get ready for our 'mother/daughter & father/son slumber party night'. I pulled out items from my retreat goody bag which included a book mark that  I had not yet seen. And the scripture on the bookmark...

Let your roots grow down into him,

Colossians 2:7 



Birth Moms, Bottles & Brokenness

This past weekend we celebrated Davis Day. It was four years ago Saturday that we held our sweet boy in our arms for the first time. On July 21st, I often reflect on the grief our dear boy had that day we picked him up. And while it was a joyous day for us all, it was also a hard day. He lost so much that day and the two years prior. I am so thankful that he is now this happy smiling boy.

Getting ready for his last swim meet of the season.

First Day of First Grade!

On Saturday night as we said our prayers, I said a prayer for his birth mom and for his foster mom. We often pray for them on this day and mother's day, but this year it brought on questions. Not from Davis, but from his sister in the top bunk. With the toughest being the one not yet asked: "Why did Davis's birth mom not keep him?". I have read about answering this question, listened to experts, but still felt ill prepared to say "I don't know". I watched Davis's face for expression, he showed none. He did want to know if he could see his foster brother when we visit China. I told him that I didn't know his name or where he lived so I didn't believe we could find him. I held back the tears at another loss for my son.

So with this weighing on my mind this week, last night we declared it "time to take away the bottle from Gabre night". Yes- she is 19 months old and still goes to sleep with a bottle. And yes, we do let her have this bottle in the crib. And yes we know many think we should have taken it away a long time ago so that her attachment item became us. And we know sleeping with a bottle can cause teeth rot. And for all of you giving us grace for doing the best we can- thank you.
Here's the thing, this girl LOVES her bottle. I mean LOVES. When she doesn't get it, she is like this:

She loves it so much that when we decided to take her off whole milk and change to rice milk Jimmy said, "I think we have nothing to worry about. It is like an alcoholic. You take away his Jim Beam, he can always go to Vodka".

When we first came home we tried to give her a pacifier, a bottle with nothing in it, etc. But she was not having it. So we quickly gave in and settled for the fact it was something we could get rid of later once she was adjusted and bonded to us. Well... adjusted and bonded happened months ago, but then it was just easier and so the bottle remained. But we knew we needed to do something.

Last night Jimmy rocked her with the bottle, and then before putting her down took it away. She cried for a few minutes but then all was silent. I couldn't believe it was going to be that easy. It wasn't. About 10 minutes later, she started to scream. And scream she did for quite a while. So I went in to rock her some more. She calmed right down, did some talking and kept trying to get to sleep. The sad thing is, she just doesn't really know how without that bottle. She would try to suck her fingers a little, but didn't seem to like those. She would stick her tongue out like she was sucking even though nothing was there.

And that was when grief overwhelmed me. At first with a few tears, but then as she fell asleep in my arms I began to sob. Because she had spent the first 9 months of her life with a bottle being the only thing in the night to soothe her. She spent the first 9 months of her life, with no mother to come running when she cried out. She spent the first 9 months of her life mostly in this crib with her bottle & smiling up at anyone coming by to take a picture.

This should not happen. Babies, toddlers, children and youth should not be without their parents. They should not have to feel alone. They should not feel unloved and unwanted. Parents should not have to make this choice because of poverty, limited education, HIV, the unknown of what raising a child with a disablity might bring. And while I cried for my precious children and for what they lost, I felt the presence of Gabre's birth mom in that room. I can't explain it, but I felt it. I thanked her for the incredible gift of her daughter, I apologized that she was not able to raise her, and I promised to do everything in my power to take good care of her. And then I prayed, please God give the 147 million+ orphans in the world a family. Make this brokenness right. You make beautiful things out of the dust. Please, please, please get these children in homes.

And while I know that prayer won't be answered today. I pray and I HOPE that today many children waking up this morning without a mother, won't go to sleep that way tonight.

Saw that Coming

“I read in a book that a man called Christ went about doing good. It is very disconcerting to me that I am so easily satisfied with just going about.” Toyohiko Kagawa

Last week at the beach visiting my parents, SB was discussing with her Daddy the vast wealth she assumes the guy selling ice cream out of a boat on Litchfield beach has.

SB: “With all that extra money you could buy two houses”.

Jimmy: “Or you could use the extra money to help build houses for people that don’t have one. You don’t need two houses if some people don’t have a house at all.”

SB: Silence, but a look of still pondering.

Jimmy: “Well, what would you do with the extra money?”

SB: “You could buy like 100 American Doll Girls.”

Jimmy: “I saw that coming.”

Me: “Or instead you could buy shoes for children who don’t have shoes.”

SB: “I SO saw that coming.”

This short conversation a few days ago has stuck with me. I am glad that she ‘saw it coming’ that we would rather give away than obtain more. But are we?

I just finished reading The Hole in Our Gospel, by Richard Sterns, the current CEO of World Vision.  This book is so good you should start reading it instead of finishing this post. I was astounded and challenged by many things in this book. One was this (statistics are averages of what I remember b/c that is how I am with statistics-but you get the idea): in 1995, around 85% of non-Christians viewed Christians favorably. By 2006, this number had dipped down to around 26%.

We are richer in America than we have ever been. Yes, I know the economy has issues and I am no economist- but really, we are rich. In fact, if you make more than $50,000 a year you are in the wealthiest 1% of the world.  We have come to expect certain things with this wealth. We spend money on bigger houses, nicer cars,  the latest fashions at big huge malls, customized driveways, and even millions of dollars on church buildings. While so many lack even the basic necessity of water.  But what do we give?

I really hope you don’t read this with a tone of judgment. I do not intend to offend. I am genuinely asking that of myself and my family. And maybe someone reading this might ask themselves the same.  And maybe not, but I want to be a person… a family that listens to the spirit of God and lives the love that he gives to us.

I have had the good fortune to witness and participate as people I know do just that. They inspire me as they demonstrate how to Love Well and Live Differently.

Our friend, Charisa, and her daughter were in Ethiopia picking up their son when we were picking up Gabre. Their son is also from Southern Ethiopia in a region near Gabre’s birth called Awassa. 

Currently, children in orphanages in that region cannot be adopted. You could say they are ‘stuck’. No longer with their biological parents, but unable for anyone else to bring them home.  Some of these children even have families that accepted their referrals for adoption, that have never been able to bring them home. Holly and Dave share honestly their journey with the acceptance of a referral for a precious boy they have met and loved, but never been able to bring home on their blog Writing in Pencil.

Because there doesn’t seem to be a solution in sight, many of the adoption agencies have pulled their support and the children there now aren’t even getting all their basic needs met.

Enter our friends.  They felt they should do something.  They didn’t know all the steps, the hows, the whats but they took a step of faith, a shaky step.

That shaky step has led to FIG Awassa. Through Project Hopeful and the support of those wanting to go about 'doing something good' the immediate needs of the children can be met. And then programs can be established for education and empowerment for families and children to support themselves and know they are loved children of God.

I am so humbled and amazed.

 I hope to So see it coming. To know when the Spirit is leading us. And more importantly to Follow.  Even with a shaky step.

“God gives us power and blessing so that justice and righteousness will be upheld for those who are denied them. This is what God is like. This is what God is about. This is who God is. To forget this, to fail to hear the cry, to preserve prosperity at the expense of the powerless is to miss what God has in mind.” Rob Bell

More to Give

Yesterday we celebrated Gabre Day. The day that we first held our sweet girl in an orphanage in Addis Ababa, Ethiopia when she was six months old.

Reflecting on that day, I feel so many emotions. Sadness at how she spent the first 9 months of her life and all she has lost, Joy that she is now home with us, but mostly I feel Thankful. I am thankful for what her presence has created in our lives. This precious child has taught me so much more about how to love and how we are loved. And I have yet to even catch a glimpse of how great our father's love is for us. She has expanded my world and broken my heart for what breaks His. And she has motivated me to do something about it. I Can live simply so that others can simply live.

Sometimes that is so hard. Sometimes I want to live simply and think more of others than myself, but then there are other times. Times I walk through a store and want to buy more, own more, or become envious of those that have more. But then I am reminded, that I have so much more to give.

During the early morning hours of Gabre Day, I was reminded of this once again. I had a dream where I had just left a meeting and couldn't find my car in the parking lot. While I was searching, a homeless woman kept asking me for money. I kept telling her I didn't have any. She was relentless. "I Have Nothing to Give You!!", I said. And out of no where there was another woman. She came up to me and pulled a $100 bill from my pocketbook that I didn't know I had. It stopped me in my tracks as I tearfully gave the homeless woman the $100.

I woke up hearing "You have more you can give". So I will strive to give more. To show more love. To Love Well and Live Differently.

Thank you Gabre for leading me closer to God.



6 Months old, May 30, 2011

17 Months old, April 2012

April Gratitude

We continue to celebrate the joy and blessings of our life by taking time to pause and thank the Lord.

This month we are grateful for:

School
The Beach
Gabre (one of the sweet children says this every few nights)
Easter and all it brings
Caramel Macchiato
Parks
Cruise Talks
China
Walks
Brave Children
Electricity
Bowling
Thoughtful Gifts & Notes
Transportation
Mom & Dad
Green Beans
Farmers Market
Mozzarella
Walks with Gabby
Pistachios
Leftover dinners that are yummy
Flowers
Dogs
1st weekly Tuesday date night
Dinner from the Farmer's Market- best pork chops ever!
May (from the little boy that can't wait to celebrate his birthday)
Joy
Mother's Day is coming
the Hatmakers
Chick-fil-a
Smith Mountain Lake 
Family and Friends

From Sympathy to Compassion to Action

Sympathy: an extension of empathetic concern, or the perception, understanding and reactions to the distress or need of another human being.

Compassion: a virtue in which the emotional capacities of empathy and sympathy for the suffering of others are regarded as part of love itself.

Action: Something done as to accomplish a purpose.

I recently heard of some research indicating there is a compassion gene. I couldn’t tell you done where or by whom because I never remember those things, but I’m sure you could google it. When I heard about the study, I knew that I may have inherited genes from those that don’t have it.  Although sometimes painful, compassion comes naturally for me. But often this is where it stops. The situation saddens me, I desire change, but I take no action.

Sunday night I started a new book, Barefoot Church Primer: An eight-week guide to serving through community by Brandon Hatmaker. And yes, I am reading all things Hatmaker these days.

Brandon references James. Not a verse or chapter, but the whole book. I began to read, but let’s be honest, it was 9:30 and I’m not going to make it through that whole book. So I resolved to read James 1 and pray about what it is telling me. The verse I am very familiar with in this passage is

James 1:27: Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.

But this time something different stood out:

James 22-26: Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says. Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like a man who looks at his face in a mirror and, after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like. But the man who looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom, and continues to do this, not forgetting what he has heard, but doing it- he will be blessed in what he does.

 I realized later that this was also a scripture read during church that morning, is that why it stood out? I don’t know. But I read it again: Do not merely listen to the word…Do what it says.

That is a charge. I prayed about what this means and I drifted off to sleep. About an hour later I startled awake from a dream in fear. I hesitate to write it down because it was so painful. I hesitate but feel I should.

I am walking down the street of a foreign country with Sarah Bess. I have no idea which country, but the people look Asian and we are in a market of sorts. I am filled with joy at having this special one on one time with her. We even hold hands at times. It is Blissful. I turn my back…for literally a second…to look at a stall selling jewelry, and she is gone. Fear sets in. I frantically look around and I see her talking to a young girl. They are holding hands. Behind them I see an older woman talking to a man. And instantly I Know. With every part of my being, I Know. She is trying to sell my daughter to this man. I run over, grab Sarah Bess and glare at this woman as I back away clinging to my daughter.

I wake in fear. Begging the Lord almost to leave me alone. I can’t think about girls just like Sarah Bess all over the world in this situation and not Do something.

So I am resolving to move beyond sympathy and compassion to doing. I had already signed this petition and I beg you to as well:  IJM Justice Petition. It only takes a moment, please think of your daughter, your niece, your friend. Do something.

Some other simple steps you can take today:

1.    Become an IJM Prayer Partner  

2.   Donate to International Justice Mission

3.   Educate yourself by reading:

Some more complicated steps you can begin to consider as a family:

1.    Think about what you are buying, where it came from and who made it

2.    Shop at local stores or stores where you feel confident the workers are making a living wage (see some links below)

3.    Download the fair-trade app here.

4.    Pray. Pray with Boldness. For there to be no more child slaves. No more slaves at all.

Some places to shop:

Sole Hope                           Noonday                      Raven and Lily

 Sole Rebels                       Be the Joy                   Deans Beans

Beads for Life                      Open Arms Shop          Global Girlfriend

Fashion Able                       Groobs                        Come Together Trading