5000 Acts

“Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.” Martin Luther King Jr. 

I initially had no desire or intention of writing about this weeks World Vision situation. There are many that already have and I really have nothing else to offer. To those that have no idea what I am talking about and don't feel like reading an article to catch up, I will try to sum it up. World Vision, one of the largest international relief organizations, announced this week that they had changed their policy and were now hiring employees who were in gay marriages. 

Richard Sterns, the CEO of World Vision, wrote "The Hole in the Gospel" which has had a profound impact on my life. I had no idea that World Vision had such a policy, but I was pleased to hear that they were changing it. But I was shocked by what occurred in the days that followed.

I was not surprised by the Christian right and their open disdain on social media with their cry of "Love the sinner, hate the sin." I was not surprised by the support of World Vision from bloggers like Rachel Held Evans and Kristen Howerton or the call for peace in the response by Jen Hatmaker. 

But when I learned that World Vision had reversed it's decision, I could not believe it. But the shock, the real shock came when I discovered that within 24 hours of the decision somewhere between 2000 and 5000 people dropped their child sponsorship at World Vision. Their CHILD sponsorship. The child they were praying for, providing water, food and an education for. My heart pounds right now that so many, so quickly, responded this way. 

I do not write today to influence your stance on gay marriage. But I am writing because I am sad. Heartbroken really. And with this heartbreak I feel a call from the spirit to do something. To show a different face to what it means to be a Christ follower,  "to love your neighbor as yourself". When somewhere around 5000 people chose to make a point over the love of a child, I believe they chose hate. And I want to choose love. I want to be a part of 5000 acts of kindness to others. And I hope to not be doing it alone. Let's rally love towards others in the coming days and together create 5000 acts. 

Maybe you choose to sponsor a child, make cookies for a neighbor or call a friend you haven't talked to in years. It doesn't matter what the response, just as long as you are choosing love. 

Together, let's start a list! Ways you can share:

1. Email or message me if you would like your acts to remain anonymous
2. Comment below
3. Post on twitter or instagram with #5000acts
4. Share on facebook and tell us how you showed love today 

*Our list can also include how we have received love from others! 

 Once we reach 5000, I will post all the ways we can show love to others. Will you please join me? 

Getting Rid of "Or"

Although he is now a boy of 7 with much more time here with us than the two years he spent without us, those two years-the ones he can’t consciously remember- continue to impact what he thinks about the world. What he thinks about himself.

Several days after an experience that showed me he still struggles to trust at times, I try to probe a bit more on how he was feeling. There were many layers there, but one we peeled away was this…he wasn't sure it was OK to cry. This unknown does not apply to falling down or scary dreams…we have seen those tears plenty of times. But the tears he is unsure about? These are tears of sadness, of fear or of failure.

I tried to reassure him. I gave examples of others in our family that cry. His Daddy. He seemed not to believe that although he has been a witness to this act numerous times. His mom. “Only for happy things”, he says. And then I realized, he had created an ‘either…or’. Either you could be loved or be vulnerable. 

I do this too. I am full of ‘either…or’ statements.

I am either successful, or I am a failure.

It was either a good day, or a bad one.

I am either pretty, or I’m not.

I am either right, or I’m wrong.

It’s either your truth, or mine.

These either…or statements do not bring joy. They do not bring unity. And they do not bring peace. I want to look at life, at others, and at myself with a lens of ‘both…and’. 

Richard Rohr describes this kind of thinking as “our ability to read reality in a way that is not judgmental, in a way that is not exclusionary of the part that we don’t understand. When you don’t split everything up according to what you like and what you don’t like, you leave the moment open, you let it be what it is in itself, and you let it speak to you”.

I am both successful, and I am a failure.

It was both a good day, and a bad one.

I am both pretty, and I’m not.

I am both right, and I’m wrong.

It’s both your truth, and mine.

This means boys can be strong while crying. This means the moment can be both good and bad. That I can be both right and wrong. That both our truths can be true. So today, I am trying to throw out the ‘or’. 

What ‘either…or’ in your life is causing suffering? How can you make it a ‘both…and’?

P.S. I am claiming the right to keep this word for my children .”You either XXXX, or you lose screen time.” This works for me folks so it is staying. Both…and, right?