The After

"When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, "Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.” Fred Rogers

Here in the south, we pride ourselves on our ability to jump in and help.

Your getting married- I will throw you a shower.

 You just had a baby- I have organized a meal train.

 You've adopted a child- hello, here I am with an airport sign.

(dear church new baby ministry, these people would REALLY love your dinner too please)

You lost a loved one- and I've got a casserole.

 And if God forbid you have made a social faux pas, we've  got a saying, "Bless your heart". 

All of this is well and good. Essential to survival in these times actually. But the past couple of days, I've been thinking much more about 'the after'...

The after of  friends struggling through marriage many years down the road. The after of personally experiencing the work it takes to keep a marriage strong. The after of trying to raise a daughter  in comparison to that newborn we brought home almost 8 years ago. The after of children still learning trust and acceptance after spending their first months and years without parents to show them love. And most recently, thinking of the after for my dear friend as she mourns the sudden death of her young brother. 

So I am asking myself, who am I in The After? Who is wading in it right now and needs that phone call, that offer to babysit, that extra prayer,  that spontaneous act of kindness? We are surrounded by people drowning in the after. Let's go beyond helping and just sit with those that need us.

Stand Awhile

I have all the wrong words. There is nothing to say.

I only have sorrow for your pain. 
We text, we call, we offer to pray. 
And yet it remains.
So I will stand here beside you, from miles away.
In the days to come, we will try.
Flowers delivered. Casseroles made.
Prayers unending
And yet it remains.
So I will stand here beside you, from miles away.
I will stand here awhile.
As long as you need it friend, I will stand.